"Clarkie Boyo"

Clarke has been changing lately. I heard someone once say, "Terrible Twos or Terrible Threes don't exist. They become terrible whenever the next baby arrives." Now that Everly's older than one and she's becoming much more independent and interested in Clarke's things--namely, toys--he's definitely found his angry side. Though I shouldn't call it "angry" more than "temperamental" or "touchy" or "argumentative" side. He's still obedient, but only after fighting both his parents and saying "No!" a lot, sometimes even adding a threat to the end--"I'm going to throw this..." or "I'm going to hit you with this..." etc. It seems like it just came out of left field one day, it's really caught me off guard. I usually ignore it, because arguing does nothing. It's all about that "power struggle" thing, right? Toddlers should not think they won an argument! And Clarke is quite the master negotiator! I tell him to eat his food. He says, "How 'bout..." and adds a series of options neither acceptable or in any way implied in whatever I had just told him to do. I'm afraid! I know it's probably only a phase and that he'll grow out of it, but meanwhile, I feel so nostalgic for my perfect angel! On top of it all, we had to cut his hair really short a couple of weeks ago because we found lice in it (NIGHTMARE) and gone is my handsome angel boy, in his place is an angry, frowning, foot-stomping bully with the haircut I swore I'd never give him. It makes me want to cry, and I do, on the inside.

I know the answer. I know the only way to get through this phase without losing it too many times is love. I love him with all my heart. I know I love him because I would get up earlier than I had planned to get up because I hear him whisper, "Mama, I peed in my pants," get him out of bed, bathe him, change him, wash the bedclothes, and pretend it didn't happen. I know I love him more than anything because when he is happy and his smiling eyes are shining at me with this secret twinkling in them it fills me with wonder that he's my son, that I am his mother! I know I love him because something inside melts over and over when he and his sister get close, hug, kiss, and go Hmmm...and it's something I can't even explain. I know I love him because Heavenly Father loves him, and my heart aches and I can't even think what I would do if anything happened to him. I would rather endure this hard phase every second of the day than the alternative...life without my Clarkie boy...it would take a piece of my heart away.

I don't mean to be so negative. Of course I don't dwell on things like that. My boy is perfect. He's perfectly amazing--and I can learn so much more from him than I could ever teach him.