Watch Your Language!

Franco & I don't have children yet, but we will, and then we'll have to grow up a little bit. We have decided to refrain from using words like "crap", sucks", "shoot", "stupid", "shut up", and "darn" since they have a negative connotation and can be sometimes mistaken for much uglier words. We don't want our future 4-yr-old to yell "Shut up!" in front of everyone or shout "Shoot!" when he or she trips and falls. My first language was Spanish until I learned English in 1st grade. My parents were very strict on the words we couldn't use~ such as the ones listed above. I remember at a cotillion activity at church once when I was about 13 the guy I was dancing with said "Crap!" and I thought he was so bad I almost told his mom on him. Almost. So, it wasn't until I was pretty much 16 or 17 {maybe 18} that I actually started using these words in my everyday conversations because they seemed so commonplace. I justified that it was okay to use them because there were so many much, much worse words I could be using. I now realize my parents were right all along. {Why does that realization happen more often after you're married?}
Anyway, Franco and I are slowly, slowly removing these derogatory words from our vocabulary~ it does take a long time to remove a habit entirely, I can attest to that now! But thankfully, and hopefully, we will have succeeded in doing this by the time our first child is born. Now I just hope every other person our child ever talks to will also do the same.
 
Here's an encouraging story I found by Sofia at http://sofiasprimaryideas.blogspot.com/2009/04/proper-proper-proper-language-and.html:
 

I'm going to make a point. It will be a good point, hopefully. For this point to really come alive though and make sense I will need to refer to Cranford, a PBS Masterpiece Theatre program that aired in April 2008 and can be checked out at your local library. Cranford is a small town in England and the time 1840. Women are proper. Women have manners. Women are dignified.

 

I have had experiences in Primary and even Sacrament Meetings where language was used that didn't invite the spirit. I would like to throw out a couple of questions for you to ponder:

1. At the last General Conference did you hear an apostle or any other speaker use the word "crap"?

2. Have you ever read an Ensign article where someone said "shut up"?

3. When Alma refers to his persecuting the church or mistakes he has made does he ever use the phrase, "Man, I really screwed up"?
 

These words in quotation may seem like small words and perhaps they are, pray and judge for yourself. May I suggest that there is a problem though, when those words are used more often than words like "Jesus" or "Savior" or "I bear testimony" in a 2 hour time period.

 

John S. Gholdston, "Words of Darkness, Words of Light," Ensign, Jan 1992, 57 says:

 

" What is it that we should be teaching our children to avoid?

 
Blasphemy is only one element of the profanity problem that President David O. McKay described as "all too prevalent" in society, and "though we say it with embarrassment, all too frequently used in the Church." (Improvement Era, Nov. 1948, p. 686.)

Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained that profanity "embraces any language that shows contempt for holy things, that breathes a spirit of irreverence or blasphemy, or that is vulgar in nature, thus leaving a mental impression of unclean and unwholesome things. Profanity," he emphasized, "is an evidence of a diseased soul." ("Profanity," Mormon Doctrine, 2d ed., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, Inc., 1966, p. 602.)

 

We know that the brain controls what words are spoken, but when we or our children allow a profanity to find a place in our vocabularies, the profanity, and not the brain, often seems to be in control. Profanity is a cyclic problem. The Spirit of the Lord withdraws from the presence of profanity, leaving the user with no spiritual guidance. Consequently the profanity may increase. (See Ensign, May 1986, p. 51.)

 

We must work closely and carefully with our children to help them choose to avoid that cycle or break the cycle if they have already begun. We cannot keep them from ever being exposed to bad language, but we can keep much of it at arm's length. Our care in making the effort, if we do it in the right spirit, can have a positive effect as our children realize how important we consider the matter to be." End quote.

 
Now I'm not calling the people who use mildly crude language lepers. Elder McConkie is. So if you're offended, take it up with him in heaven. My point is WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. It's simple.

We should be more like the ladies of Cranford. I leave you with their reaction to the word "suck" which I also believe should not be used at church.

[Mary has brought oranges as a present for Matty and Deborah]

Miss Deborah Jenkyns: I would prefer it if I did not enjoy oranges. Consuming them is a most incommodious business.

Miss Matty Jenkyns: There is not such a lot of juice, Deborah dear - only when they are sliced with a knife.

Mary Smith: At home we make a little hole in our oranges and we suck them. [Deborah looks horrified]

Miss Matty Jenkyns: That is the way I like to take them best, but Deborah says it is vulgar and altogether too redolent of a ritual undertaken by little babies.

My sister does not care for the expression [whispers]

Miss Matty Jenkyns: "suck".

Miss Deborah Jenkyns: [primly] We will repair to our rooms... and consume our fruit in solitude. [embarrassed, Deborah gets up and leaves the table]